He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
