Sponge bath it is.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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