I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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