By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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