remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
