Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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