fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
