HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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