so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
