U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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