I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
