My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
