I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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