this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
