u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
