My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
