It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize