69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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