it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
