That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
