idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
