just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
