Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
