scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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