We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
