Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
