Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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