How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
