and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
