He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize