Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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