just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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