Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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