And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
