Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think my vagina is haunted
We got so high we made milksteak
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
