Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
