so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
