this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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