We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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