At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
