I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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