I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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