question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize