the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
