By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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