I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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