I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
