O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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