the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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