so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
