so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
