You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
