there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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