Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
