I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
