I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
