I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
