question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
