i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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