But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
