you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize