but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
