Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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