I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
