is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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