So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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