I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
