Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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