I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize
