I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
