fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
