I think my fart just growled at me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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