All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
