David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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