i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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