Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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