I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
