Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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